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I’ve loved Avril Lavigne since I’d just graduated high school and she was a look back at all that I’d left behind. “Sk8er Boi” had me dancing around my apartment imagining my way through my first love,

I sat out my angst along with “My Happy Ending“,

and listened to “Girlfriend” ad nauseam until my neighbors complained. Then I played it again with my windows open while I sang along with every word.

What The Hell” came out at the perfect time in my life. It was like Avril just got me. Whenever I needed a theme song, there she was.

So you can imagine how pumped I was about her new album.

At first, all was cool. “Hello Heartache” has been my jam since the second I heard it and dove over the head of my first born to turn the volume up. Though some were disappointed, I found her self-titled album to be exactly what I expected from Avril Lavigne, which was to always put out what she wanted no matter what people wanted from her. Then I saw the video for “Hello Kitty“.

The fact that it moved me to update my poorly neglected blog that I haven’t paid any attention to in… Long enough that I had to open it in a new tab to get the answer to that question, well, that should say something.

But if you really want me to spell it out…

I can say that honestly this is the first time I’ve experienced such an abysmal feeling towards anything Avril Lavigne has put out. The song, it still rocks. But I will forever have the empty faces of her backup dancers (that I’ve yet to be convinced aren’t comprised of virtual girls akin to the one that Japanese band AKB48 mislead me with) etched into my mind, ready to be dredged up at a moment’s notice to fuel my nightmares.

Avril still remains one of my favorite artists whose music never fails to make me embarrass my children (and sometimes even myself) in public. I’m still going to dance and sing like a fool to every song she puts out. My children will continue to learn the lyrics to her songs better than they know the names of the inhabitants of Bikini Bottom. But she (like me) should not dance. Ever. Especially with creepy faced Sims behind her doing equally jerky movements.

I’m severely disappointed.

(Side note: Give Leo his damn Oscar!)

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