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First up: I can’t post on Memorial Day without acknowledging the amazing sacrifice made for our country by the fantastic men and women in service. My hat off to you and thanks for the freedom. I enjoy it every day.

So this weekend was like any other. I was laying about, chilling with the chits and thinking about my plans for chit-free time, when I was bribed into Dingo walking with my sister. After the requisite stops for Dingo waste disposal (sideline: even if you have a small dog, you still need to scoop its poop! I want to fling feces at the dog owners who leave little piles of poo hidden in the grassy jungle of the ‘burbs. I don’t enjoy treading on ish) we decided that the day was so “nice” (meaning more than enough sun to attempt to even out the crazy tan lines we’ve each acquired this season) that we’d walk him through The Forest.

That plan lasted for all of twenty minutes: enough time to return to Dingo’s residence and establish that neither of us fancied whiling away the sunshine hours in the heart of The Forest (in which I’m sure some incarnation of the Blair Witch or Chupacabra lives). Instead we opted to walk to the used bookstore.

Now, going in the doors I knew I was wrong. My bookshelves are already stuffed to the gills, and one shelf recently gave out under the stress of it all. I need to be eliminating books, not adding to my problem. I decided I was just going to browse. Then the chocolate covered whore bait showed up.

“Hey, we’re having a sale today, ladies!”, the overly chipper but incredibly nice on the eyes cashier sang out. I attempted to keep walking but (foiled again!) was cut off by another pusher.

“20% off everything in the store today, honey!” the older woman leered at me suggestively whilst slowly waving a PNR in my face.

“I’m… Uh… Here to browse only.” I stammered out, eyes fixated on the (pristine condition!) title in her hands.

*wink* “Alright, sugar, well you let me know if you need any help.” she ambled away, throwing over her shoulder, “Everything in the store includes clearance.”

I was a goner.

I believe I mumbled something to my sister along the lines of, “I’m heading… That way.”

Two hours (yes) later… I sheepishly returned to the check-out area.

“Find something good today, baby?” the cashier drawled with a cocked eyebrow.

Don’t stare at his lips while he’s talking to you. Don’t stare at his… Ohhh, are those new books he’s sorting?!? “Um, yes.”, flushed and glistening from the thrill of the reads I’d picked up (Ireland by Frank Delaney and Lover Awakened by J. R. Ward).

“Well, you know this sale lasts all weekend and through end of day on Monday.” he licked his lips, “So will you be coming back to see me?”

Glancing over my shoulder with a whispered sigh in the direction of the art section I hadn’t stepped a foot into that day, “Yes.” I breathed, “Yes, I do believe I will.”

Book. Whore.

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